Clang clang clang

Written 7/4/2006, the fourth anniversary of my first love's drowning. This poem speaks to my then-fiance.

Clang clang clang
Silence
He's fallen again
"He's dead, I'm sure
Should be in the paper tomorrow"
Silenced
Click

Tick tick tick tick
Hands move over a blank expression
Tired lives are weary
Flash

"Don't watch
It will be too hard"
"You don't know me"
Slammed shut
Mournful cries
Hushed whispers
Parted ways
Silence

Yearly greeting
Cannot respond
Dreadful
Years pass

Nightly somber
Lies
Avoidance
Silent cries

Hesitant visit
Feels like home
We are better
More to come

Relationships
Meant nothing
Fleeting memories
Months pass

Four years and
I don't cry
Four years
And I feel fine
Four years and
I've moved on

But you can't see
How I used to be
Silenced
Stifled
Liar
Betrayer
Hateful

Clang clang clang
Back at it again
I am alive
The hands of the clock tell me so

No extreme emotion
Just remembrance
Not mournful
Thinking

Tick tick tick tick
Hands move over a blank expression
Tired lives are weary
Flash